grams

grams

“when i die
i want y’all to be sad
and cry and all that
then i want y’all to move on
live ya lives
shit”

and here we are
listening to
miles davis
it never entered my mind
remembering years of
jazz flowing out the credenza
sailing around the house
on g street
you laid my head on your knee
bouncing it lightly
playing with my ear
spelling out the equations
to better understand
this shit called life

all the scripted scenes
the snotty sobby moments
written for the stage
for the picture show
they all real to me now

in a few days
i’ll be almost halfway
to the point you kept sayin
im tired
im ready to go

two times now
plus two more
we sacrificed to get you
a birthstone pendant necklace
for your seventieth
and a light sharper than
anything that cuts
broke through expectation
making you smile from deep
it made me forget
about my inadequacies
mistakes and darkness
made me feel something
brighter than hope

you were my first god
your prayers had power
have power
you were a magnet
for the miraculous
your dirt and shadow
twisted into diamonds
into gold
conducting love
slapping fear
full in the face

you met
tayo ahanu zenzele
you sat with him
held his new body longer
than i bet you were supposed to
like you touched marquite’s belly
and promised us you would

thank you

your cussin grandson

lewis